Weddings are traditional affairs, and the concept of a wedding is a traditional thing.
There’s no way around that reality.
But many couples prefer to pick and choose which aspects of that tradition they keep for themselves.
Some keep the whole thing, some keep only some things, and some replace certain elements with new modern wedding traditions that didn’t previously exist as part of the original collection of wedding traditions.
And that’s especially common for the ever-increasing number of intercultural, interracial, and international couples who get married here.
To help you figure out your own situation, we’ve collected this brief list of modern wedding traditions that are generally seen by most people as optional.
Some people choose to keep them, and some people choose to can them, all for their own reasons.
It’s up to you to decide based on what matters most to you as a couple. 🙂
*Note: There might be separate traditions you’ll want to consider for either your wedding shower or bridal shower.
1. Tossing the Wedding Bouquet
This is one of the most well-known traditions on this list, and you’ve probably seen it before.
Essentially, the bride carries around a bouquet of flowers and, at a certain point in the ceremony, all of the unmarried female guests will gather in a crowd.
Once they’ve gathered, the bride will turn her back to them and toss the bouquet into the air.
As the legend goes, the woman who catches the bouquet will be the next to get married.
2. Throwing the Garter
This is one of those modern wedding traditions that used to be seen a lot but has largely fallen out of favor in recent years.
The garter is a stretchy little bit of fabric that the bride wears on her thigh underneath her dress.
And as the tradition goes, the bride will sit in a chair as the groom takes the garter off her leg and tosses it into the crowd of unmarried male guests.
This is effectively a male version of the bouquet toss for women and, just as with the bouquet toss, the man who catches the garter is said to be the next one to get married.
Pro Tip: With the garter or bouquet toss, if you want to be a bit funny about it, you can have your band or DJ play a special track just for that part of the ceremony.
3. Giving the Bride Away
The custom of “giving the bride away” during the wedding ceremony has been practiced for a very long time.
In the past, this job was most commonly done by the bride’s father, but these days, it is often done by a trusted male senior if the father cannot be present for some reason.
What happens is that the father (or trusted senior male) will take the bride by the arm and walk her down the aisle toward the altar, where she will stand next to her soon-to-be husband.
In the olden days, this was sort of a “from my house to your house” ritual.
But these days, it is mostly just a nice way for the bride to honor a particular senior male figure in her life.
4. Not Seeing the Bride In Her Wedding Dress Before the Ceremony
More specifically, the groom can’t see the bride in her wedding dress before the ceremony.
Superstitions and legends abound as to why this is, but it’s a very common tradition that many couples still hold to.
And it’s a pretty harmless one as long as the bride isn’t going to choose a wedding dress that’s too revealing or which would otherwise be scandalous to the groom or either of the families present.
5. A Veil For the Bride
This kind of goes with the previous entry on this list in that it serves a similar purpose.
In every way possible, people in the past used to prefer to prevent the groom from seeing the bride on the wedding day before the ceremony itself.
And just like the custom of not allowing the groom to see her in her wedding dress, the veil was another way to build that anticipation and hide the bride’s appearance from the groom until the last possible moment.
Of course, the groom would ideally already know what the bride looks like (unlike in the past).
But the point is that he has never seen her in her dress, all made up specifically for the wedding.
6. Something Blue
Last on this list is one that comes from an old English rhyme: “Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.”
This rhyme and the modern wedding tradition it spawned originated in Victorian England, and the things mentioned in it are each meant to repel evil spirits on the wedding day.
And each of those things also has a different symbolic meaning, such as tricking evil spirits into thinking the bride is someone else and protecting her from the “evil eye” (a common belief in Europe, both then and now).
You Do You
As you can see, weddings, like so many other cultural institutions, are deeply rooted in historical customs and are as complex as the people involved in them.
Not all old traditions are worth holding onto, and not all modern wedding traditions will hold as much meaning for you as their older counterparts.
At the end of the day, it’s your choice, and you’ll most likely make that choice according to the core values you share as a couple and any concessions you elect to make to your respective families.
However you wind up doing it, you’ve got our support, and we wish you both the very best for your wedding and your future together. 🙂
